Is It Safe To Gnaw Through The Straps Now? (ericcoleman) wrote,
Is It Safe To Gnaw Through The Straps Now?
ericcoleman

But ... wait ... there's more

So she made me promise to post this from this summer as well ...



Hi!

It's 12:04... do you know if you're basements flooding? Well... mine isn't... at least not anymore.

(Note... don't start reading this unless you've a lot of time... don't say I didn't warn you)

Did any of you know that the Wal Mart in Ames is not only open 24 hours... it sells sump pumps??? Go figure...

As many of you have heard me rant about before, the basement has flooded several times this spring. I've fixed and adjusted and babied that sump pump for 3 months now to keep it going. I just spent a chunk of my 4 day weekend mucking out disintegrating boxes, a lot of gross slim and even a live snake who had taken up residence. But for a while all seemed well. (Insert Theme from Jaws here)

I've a habit now of checking for water in the basment every morning and every evening. Last nite there was water coming up again so I gave the sump pump a shove and voila ... it started up. Again this morning there was water ... another shove and ... yea rah... it pumped merrily away.

Tonight however I went down about 10 and MORE WATER.... a shove, a kick, wiggle the floaty thing, clean the floaty thing, unplug it, re-plug it, shake it for a few minutes in frustration... and nothing. Dead .... dead and gone. (There's a Shakepeare quote in there somewhere... something about "Alas poor..." ok ok I'll spare the bard the indignity.)

So, where else do you think of to get a sump pump at 10pm??? WAL MART. Thank you Wally! The cashier about fell over when she rang it up... "We really have sump pumps?" I even had a nice Wal Mart employee back in the hardward section who knew about such things and helped me pick one out. From Shakespeare to the Twilight zone I've ventured this evening! Has to be...

So I get home and spend 1/2 and hour prying the rusted hulk of the old pump out. Reminded me of one of those Discovery Channel programs on undersea wreaks where they show you some hunk of rusted metal with no decernable shape or purpose and in intricate detail tell you it's ... well... a pump.

As the rusted lump of metal is unwilling to give up it's grip on the 3' pipe connecting it to the rotting rubber hose, I'm beginning to dispair of ever getting this fixed. Wondering... does Wal Mart sell pipe? Oh my.

Then... Eureka! This new fangled pump has an attachment to hook it up to an ordinary garden hose. Cool! Sorta. I've a hose in the basement that has been looped around a peg for about a century. Lots and lots of kinks. But, ever the optimist I pressed on. I hooked it up, shoved the hose out the window and turned on the new pump. HMMMMMMMMM.... it's running!

Now is there water coming out? Just a trickle. I tried to pull the hose as far out of the basement as I could... but it's just too kinked up. So back down to the basement to get it mostly untangled and back outside to pull it out. In the process I seemed to have enraged a couple of bunnies. Apparently while tramping through the flowers to get to the window I may have inadvertantly destroyed their 3 bedroom two bath condo.

Did you know bunnies can swear like a cockney fishwife?

Apparently they also fight because before I knew it they were viciously at each others throats.

(Waiting patiently on the sidelines for the ref to declare a knock out and heavyweight champion)

Now that I've gotten the hose pulled mostly out of the window and stretched straight across the lawn I still don't have better than a trickle flowing. Out come the pliers and I work my way down the hose squishing out the kinks. Better... but the people driving by seem to want to question my sanity.

And... I'm done.. no more. We'll hit Lowes tomorrow for a new pipe, hose and ring clamps. I don't dare press my luck at Wal Mart again. Once is surreal enough.

And where was my dear husband Eric through all this you may ask??? Sound asleep of course. My brilliantly talented singer/songwriter, gifted comedian, amazing father and ... enough said, this is a family show.... he is aboslutely and utterly mechanically disinclined. And besides... this means he has to get up with Reilly in the middle of the night!

I'm off for a shower and my bed. I hope you've all enjoyed my rant and had a good laugh on me.

Do I dare take on last look to see if the water has gone down?? NO! Well... yes of course I will...

Love to you all
Good Night
Julie
Tags: julie rant
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