The Carpal Tunnel surgery did all that it should, I don't lose feeling in my fingers anymore. The Trigger Thumb surgery is the problem. It weakened my left hand. I don't want to damage myself any more than I have already. I don't want to find myself, in a couple of years, losing all of my ability to play music.
There are going to be some things said, I want to nip them in the bud right away.
This is not because of Cheshire Moon, this is not because of Lizzie. Cheshire Moon is the most satisfying thing I have ever done musically, but it does not match the sheer visceral insanity that is a Toyboat show (or rehearsal for that matter).
There is at least one person who has expressed anger at my playing shows with Cheshire Moon and "ignoring" Toyboat. In the time that I have been hurt, Mike broke his wrist. There wouldn't have been any shows anyway. Almost half the band was on the disabled list.
The more important thing about my playing shows with Cheshire Moon, it doesn't hurt. In fact my surgeons advice was, as soon as the bandages were off, to start playing stringed instruments as my therapy. Fretting with my left hand doesn't have the impact that hitting a snare drum does.
I will miss the drums, I will miss them so badly. I had just gotten started backing up other musicians with my little piccolo snare and a couple of cymbals. I have a full set of drums in my basement now. My kids will use them. I will want to and I won't be able to.
This is really hard. This band means so much to me. It started as a silly idea that I had and went further than I ever imagined. I will miss the rehearsals, the shows, the jokes, the twisted things we did to songs. I will miss being a part of that gang, because that is what a good band is.
Toyboat will continue. I want the second album. The newer songs are amazing. Keep tearing audiences up. I'll be in that audience when I can.